I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
