So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
