she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
