yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize