Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
420 ftw
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
