I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
