I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
either way he was missing a nipple.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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