8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
