It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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