It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
