I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
