He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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