turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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