It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
