i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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