There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
