No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
