I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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