so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.