I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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