how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
