my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
