My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize