is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
