We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
