You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize