HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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