Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
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That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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