she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
