I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It's official drugs can't kill me
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
