she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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