Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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