I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
