There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
