I just made out with a guy for $7.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
