i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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