Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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