I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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