Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
