Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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