Soap is not a condiment
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
