Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
