thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I need water and some morals
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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