He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
