Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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