Can Purell be used as lube?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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