Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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