She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
