Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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