Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
