Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
