My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You dont lie about slip and slides
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
