My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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