were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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