oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
