How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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