New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I woke up under a house in Key West
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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