i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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