I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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