So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize