i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
