Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Who died my cat blue again?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
