i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Houston, we have a blender
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
