Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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