plz talk dirty to me
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
