Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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