I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
