kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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